Catalyst Nimbus (2024) Program Notes

I wrote this piece with two connected inspirations, one programmatic and one philosophical/emotional. The programmatic element begins the piece and starts with the striking image of a rocket ship full of astronauts blasting off from the earth. Watching clips of such events, I was struck by the contrast between the fiery explosion of the rocket and the rattling, fragile-yet-sound ship attached to it. I imagined the inner dreams and thoughts of an astronaut on such a journey, and the startling moment of seeing the Earth from outer space for the first time.

From here, the piece turns towards the philosophical. I thought of our efforts to enter space as an analogy for our struggle with nihilism. As I see it, nihilism stems from the terrifying contrast between our small, mostly helpless (and unhelpful) selves and the enormous inertia of the universe. Journeying into the unknown makes the dichotomy starkly clear. The creeping feeling of our fragility thus overcomes the climactic arrival of the Earth's beauty, spiraling us back to a tumult as chaotic as the explosion that got us here.

Pondering the romantic draw of beauty on an epic scale and its troubling implication of personal insignificance, however, I truly believe the conscious and physical human being is just as beautifully complex (and simple) as the conscious and physical universe. And so the momentum of individual pride, humble awe, and earnest thought produce a resolution.